Trip to RockCity

I think we had a useful conversation today. May not be the perfect timing...May be I didn't need to drive 300 miles just to talk to somebody over phone (!), but still, it sure helped creating the mindset for that. What else could be more important than that? I wanted to talk to myself, I think I still did, only in the presence of an wirelsss entity.

I do realize success is not an one dimensional vector, nor is always easily quantifiable, but part of it is, right? All our understanding eventually boils down to numbers (this is a very interesting discussion I have recently revived, I should definitely write more on this, but on a separate sitting), so success also is most often appreciated in qualititve terms.

I have this stressful realization that, I have become less and less successful over the last 8-10 years. Now looking at my age, that's a big portion of my life! Whooh. I don't know what to say. Definitely it's nothing about my luck, I had all the opportunities. I did try too. But they must have been flawed and incomplete. Was there lack of persistence or sincerety, or something bigger? I may be less confined to a fixed set of rules, but I always appreicated and advocated regularity and strictness. I want freedom as the very first thing, but I also appreciate the cost to maintain that. So what is it that I have been missing so badly? Is it something I am really unaware of?

One aspect of failure analysis I always fail to find in contemporary views, is, the failure should be judged based on the amount of information present at the time of that failure, rather than the amount of information present at the time of judging it. Today, even I may very easily humiliate Aristotle for his audacious attempts to say anything about cosmology based on the argument that, they had little access to talk about something so big. But that would be unjust. At that time, the didn't even know how much they didn't know (but which is knowable)! (This is always the case, however).

(to be continued, I feel sleepy..)