I am in!

Signed up for the 'club'. Initial 'cost' was about '$100', but I am sure more is coming. Once I thought it would take me a long time to decide whether I would enter or not. But for now, it seems the correct thing to do. Knowing I have nothing to achieve "in particular" is probably a safer bet than not knowing it. So I made this decision. Life is not any easier than before, but it's just less painful, I guess.

Flu

Everybody is having a touch of the flue. Where is my share of it?

Interesting Day

I bought my first car exactly 1 year from this day. It was a different kind of feeling, a feeling of freedom and excitement. Interesting enough is, my journey for a different (but of the same degree) kind of freedom starts this very day, as well.

Good old Bad days

How about I stop being 'good'? You know what I mean? I mean all these things we do and do not do, for the sole purpose of upholding our damn moral, could itself be the root of all evil. How about I cut that crap loose?

I don't have to be necessarily honest with anything.
I don't have to be kind.
I don't have to be responsible.
I don't have to be polite.
I don't have to be understanding.
I don't have to be truthful all the time.
I can lie as I wish.
I can think anything, say anything, do anything, to anyone, anytime, anywhere.
I don't have to believe in an eternal justice
I don't have to feel bad for doing anything.
I don't have to be afraid of anything.
I don't have to care anything.
I don't have to have guilty feelings for anything, nothing is guilt.
I don't have to sacrifice for anyone, anything.

I free myself, from the slavery by my own conceptions, most of which must have been horribly wrong, for they lead me to nowhere but a place filled with shame, suffering and meaninglessness.

Outer the limits

Crying isn't helping any more. Talking, reading or just getting busy with life, none of these are effective either. I simply don't know what else to try. I don't see any opening at the end of this road, it's all too dark. How could I ever get out of this? Have I done something irreversible?

So is this it? Perhaps, my fate has already been written, and trying would be pointless, except to the effect of making conditions more miserable.

But I read somewhere, if I honestly try you are supposed to show me the light, is that a delusion too? Well, I can't get any more honest than this, so if you still do not want to show up, I guess this is it. I am at the dead end here. Anything after this point is not within my rational limits, so I can't take responsibility of this, I can't.

Quotable Quotes

The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one's real and one's declared aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink. - George Orwell

Most people would rather be certain they're miserable than risk being happy. - Robert Anthony

Possible and the 'Impossibles'

Reality is the resultant wave of all the individual possibility wave functions. Impossible things are impossible, or they don't happen because, their wave functions are nullified. In some sense, they also do 'exist' - or lets put it this way, they exist in a place before the 'existence' of reality is defined; i.e, they sort of 'pre-exist' everything.

The answer to the general problem of explaining a particular choice is thus the rejection of the completeness of the question. No choice is 'preferred' over other, as all choices are made, there is no selection. We can see particular choices being taking place not because they are the only ones that are made, but because they are 'also' made, which happens to be in our world.

Cycles

The only reason I've ever found, to hope nature's actions as fair, is her cyclicity.

The justification of our death is nothing but our birth, the justification of end being the beginning. Everything has a balance, it's only a matter of time when it will finish one full cycle.

Back to the 'dots'

Nature tremendously lacks in points of references or specialties of things. Hence much of our advancement in science can be characterized as the removal of 'extra' properties attributed to the concerned concepts. In other words, more than (i mean quantitively) connecting the dots, we are (and probably righteously) severing the unnecssary and wrongful connections made between them. Following this 'heuristic', I wonder, what kind of future is math going to unveil for us? Will it be a total lack of reference and specialties, something like a true randomness where everything is just a choice to be made? Who knows!

Sublime Majesty

The beauty of the mathematics is a never ending fountain. It's probably the sexiest thing out there, the source of all the magnificence and purity in nature.

A positivist's hope

I will indeed be deeply offended, if human quest for the theory of everything, will have to fail because of a sheer amount of the complexity, rather than the nature of it.

The God Delusion

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4321574955310561251&q=god+delusion&total=881&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=0

I thought, the essence of this was to be more open to the reality, not believing or rejecting things unncessarily. To believe there is no God, is to me, equally meaningless as believing there is one.

We are just too far away in the pursuit of reasoning to either prove or rule out nethin in issues like the origin of everything, including reason itself. To date, we have merely learned to climb up the ladders of reasons. It's too challenging at this moment to find whre that ladder itself coms into existence.

The Hope

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."

Jimi hindrix

The 'Truth' about Truth

To know the truth is forbidden.

ILLusions

If proof is what we must rely on, then, there is only me - that exists. Nothing else can be believed to be real, for one can not tell what one has not truly experienced.

The "sharing" problem

It's not enough to be happy. In addition, someone else must know that you are happy.

Sadness is likewise.

True Vision

In an unknown world, 'being doubtful' is how we see; 'being certain' is how we go blind.

Power of loneliness

Intense loneliness is a source of power - seldom appreciated, for its merit. When used properly, it can connect us to our true selves.

A Letter to me

"Yes, you can do it. In fact, you can do far better than this. How could you forget you are so special? Clean the rust, gold is inside, let it come to the surface, and it will shine on its own.

You've some very extra-ordinary qualities and you know that very well, better than anyone else. You may have spent some time of your life in less than optimal fashion, but it's not over yet. Life is a big game, you havn't played the whole part of it. There are so many aspects of life, you havnt explored yet.

What you need is a focussed goal and a plan. That's all.
How come? A focussed goal will ensure you will maintain the required level of energy and enthusiasm all through. A good plan will get the results faster and with more certainty.

Problems? You let your mind scatter a bit more than you should. Remember as I said, its mostly about being focussed. You can't do everything completely, but you can surely do the most important things.

You know, what's best in you? You "understand", a rare quality. You can become so impartial and objective, few else could do that and with such consistency as you do. You have phenomenal power of understanding things, getting to the basics, extracting the underlying skeleton of everything and make rest of the details from that. Yes, some others probably could have this quality as well. But I bet, very few has the accuracy that you possess. You are simply phenomenal, nothing short of it. With the level of understanding power you have, you can get to a state of achievement, even you could probably not guess, let alone others. So, don't let those others take away this unique true feelings from you. It's yours! It's the truth! And it will make a difference, if you only, believe in yourself, which I think you surely do.

A grand Success is in order. Just keep it up, as you did!"

Ethics in Nature

The questions of ethics get quickly surpassed by the scope of scientific advancement. It's one thing how we define right & wrong, and it's an entirely different ballgame, how nature decides. For the time being nature is concurring with the unprecedented development of human knowledge through science. So, no matter how evil a scientific achievement might seem at first, as long as it is a concrete move forward from the current, it will be rejoiced with complacency, sooner or later. ‘Cloning’ however is only one such move forward, resisting which could only delay the practice, not the discovery itself.