"It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." ~Carl Sagan
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Garbage in, Trouble out
In computer science we often use this phrase for faulty programs - Garbage in, Garbage out. In other spheres, situation is worse. Most of the times, garbage creates lots of trouble. Nothing is effectless. Useful or harmful, something it does. Things that are truly garbage in nature, do create problems a lot. They just don't go off silently.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
The Cage Bird
<removed>
Listening to Shermer reading his "How We Believe: The Search for God in an Age of Science" became interesting towards the end, where he expressed his (and shared by many others) feelings on freedom in a world without the necessity of a super-natural being for the meaning of our existence. How he finds more meaning in this given condition of meaninglessness, leaving us to the openness of defining our own meaning, living the life to the fullest, in absence of daemons and angels, fire and the heavens; how we still rise to our morality in a world without a 'third-party' judgement day, and all those meanings that we can't help attaching to our loving yet equally frightening God.
I was not so sure about those feelings, either in the intensity or in their nature. But, then a deeper feeling of sadness, a vague feeling of loosing, gradually but unceasingly began to flood my neurons. Have I, after all these times of 'conditioning' in a corrupted milieu, lost the very will to become free? Have we became slaves, not in our physical limitedness, but in our hearts who do not even seek freedom anymore? Have we not done anything at all right, then? Like that bird of Tagore, we must have completed the lesson then - learned not just to carve our wills, but to have no free will at all. Completeness indeed.
Monday, March 24, 2008
The Game
So..3 of the books arrived this afternoon. One is the much waited for, "The Selfish Gene". Other two are "Darwin's Dangerous Idea: Evolution and the Meanings of Life" and "The Blind Watchmaker".
Lately I've been continuing on "The Infinite Book" (Barrow); it's a nice one on mathematical infinities. I seem to have grown strong addiction towards non-fictions in general. I don't know exactly why, but it would seem my time is running out too fast to have time for the other kinds. There is this invisible, undeclared but implicit and definite race against time, with too much still left to do.
Our mind works and grows in some ways, very much like the muscles. One has to push it to the limit to grow. Sometimes it will be painful indeed, but, ironically or not, that's how it can grow. It leads to believe, success is invariably linked with an intelligently designed plan for suffering in a consistent manner. In absence of a clear and absolute goal, or where knowing the goal itself is the first goal, it can be so frustratingly painful and delusive. More times than not, it cripples us, strays us, exhausts us and we would seem to loose pathetically; but in the midst of all these, even if for one time, we can rise above, and could keep the pulse ticking, we will win in the end. Spirit of winning never dies, or else, one has not yet, found it.
Lately I've been continuing on "The Infinite Book" (Barrow); it's a nice one on mathematical infinities. I seem to have grown strong addiction towards non-fictions in general. I don't know exactly why, but it would seem my time is running out too fast to have time for the other kinds. There is this invisible, undeclared but implicit and definite race against time, with too much still left to do.
Our mind works and grows in some ways, very much like the muscles. One has to push it to the limit to grow. Sometimes it will be painful indeed, but, ironically or not, that's how it can grow. It leads to believe, success is invariably linked with an intelligently designed plan for suffering in a consistent manner. In absence of a clear and absolute goal, or where knowing the goal itself is the first goal, it can be so frustratingly painful and delusive. More times than not, it cripples us, strays us, exhausts us and we would seem to loose pathetically; but in the midst of all these, even if for one time, we can rise above, and could keep the pulse ticking, we will win in the end. Spirit of winning never dies, or else, one has not yet, found it.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Think again, like you never thought them before
Origin and significance of Morality
What is morality? And why does it exist? Is it just the abstract guideline of our action - derived from natural selection? If yes, then to what extent and capacity it is successful for increasing our survival value?
Or is it, from religion, which itself could be a 'by-product' of natural selection? But how can religion claim to bring this concept into existence, if, in the first place choosing to be religious itself required a moral decision to be made?
Understanding Conscience
What am I? What else can you add to this definition of I, that states, I am nothing but a particular sequence/set of memory residing on a particular set of particles? How am I still the same person then, when this memory and constituting particles both change constantly with time? What is that hidden 'string' that really ties everything together - that actually differentiates one conscience from the rest?
Or is there no such string, but an illusion of a connected 'line' from the really disconnected but orderly placed 'dots' ? If so, then are we not constantly being reborn and dead in this smooth process of changing conscience?
The problem with Beginning
Can logic ever define something that is self sufficient for its own existence? Can logic, in other words, ever start the chain of reasoning? Consequently, can it also ever end that very chain? Is logic not then, just a 'vehicle' for reaching point A from point B, but not the 'tool' that can find the 'source' and 'goal' of the real journey?
What can explain this then, if not logic? What other form(s) of truth shall we seek? Equivalently, are all truth reachable?
Is that possible?
"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth." — Mark Twain
Let there be light
I've just finished what to-date is one of the most influential books of my lifetime; "The God Delusion", by the famous British Biologist Richard Dawkins. (Happens to be 420 pages, by the way).
Reading this book was a joy, partly of discovering I am not alone and not weird. That honesty and intelligence could coexist, with courage and patience. That the silverline of hope for a true understanding of this world is not just alive, but been actively and courageously sought by the great minds with still greater passion.
I must write on the major topics covered in this book in different pieces. But, in one word, what I found in this, is invaluable for the time & money I spent for it. I can not but express my deepest most sincere thanks to the author..
The search has not come to end, perhaps it is still far from even getting close. But, it has just started now, with the freshness and power of a new born. If time does not come to a standstill, our search won't either; this is our time and this time it's us to say, "let there be light".
Reading this book was a joy, partly of discovering I am not alone and not weird. That honesty and intelligence could coexist, with courage and patience. That the silverline of hope for a true understanding of this world is not just alive, but been actively and courageously sought by the great minds with still greater passion.
I must write on the major topics covered in this book in different pieces. But, in one word, what I found in this, is invaluable for the time & money I spent for it. I can not but express my deepest most sincere thanks to the author..
The search has not come to end, perhaps it is still far from even getting close. But, it has just started now, with the freshness and power of a new born. If time does not come to a standstill, our search won't either; this is our time and this time it's us to say, "let there be light".
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Aleph-naught
Let not greed engulf me once again...What I've already received is infinitely greater than what I had deserved (if anything at all)...Greed I must get over, I must.
And I must not forget so quickly that coming into existence must have been an infinite gain to begin with.
And I must not forget so quickly that coming into existence must have been an infinite gain to begin with.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. - Laurence J. Peter
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. - Will Durant
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. - Will Durant
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
The Wait
It's been really busy schedule lately. The new books havn't arived yet..but I am sure by this weekend I should have at least few of them.
I hope it doesn't rain this weekend...or if it does, let it pour. I havn't soaked in rains for too long; sporadic drops don't delight me at all, I want heavy shower, so much it hides everything in sight..only the vague outline of distant trees gradually fading against the hazy horizon..indistinct visions..smudging the borderline of dreams and reality with a deep pleasingly cold green sensation..
I hope it doesn't rain this weekend...or if it does, let it pour. I havn't soaked in rains for too long; sporadic drops don't delight me at all, I want heavy shower, so much it hides everything in sight..only the vague outline of distant trees gradually fading against the hazy horizon..indistinct visions..smudging the borderline of dreams and reality with a deep pleasingly cold green sensation..
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Unicoi State Park
So, as planned, I purchased the membership to all 48 state parks plus historic sites in Georgia, including annual park pass..no more concerns for parking ticket/warning.. :)
Unicoi State Park is about 80 miles away from home, (and 0 mile away from my heart), one more showdown of pristine nature...
My reading got a great pace today; now eagerly waiting for "The Selfish Gene" to arrive, should be with me in few days :). ..Life is so meaningless, sometimes that can be good too, what do you say?
Unicoi State Park is about 80 miles away from home, (and 0 mile away from my heart), one more showdown of pristine nature...
My reading got a great pace today; now eagerly waiting for "The Selfish Gene" to arrive, should be with me in few days :). ..Life is so meaningless, sometimes that can be good too, what do you say?
Quotable Quotes
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite. - Paul Dirac
Saturday, March 15, 2008
At War
I felt so weak today. Not being in the place I wished to be, did affect my mood badly. I have probably never felt so much lonely in my entire life. At least I can't remember so.
This road is too dark and dangerous. The very light that guided me so long has turned into an weapon of infinite confusion. I have really nothing left with me, except myself. How could I afford to lose my self confidence then? I can't. The hope for external help only creates more torments. I must believe in myself, I must believe in myself, I must, I must.
This road is too dark and dangerous. The very light that guided me so long has turned into an weapon of infinite confusion. I have really nothing left with me, except myself. How could I afford to lose my self confidence then? I can't. The hope for external help only creates more torments. I must believe in myself, I must believe in myself, I must, I must.
Goodreads
Link to my GoodRead account is now on the left menu. Nice place to see what others are reading!
Friday, March 14, 2008
The Companion
Few other things could be as helpful and powerful as one's own honest understanding. Experts' opinion, or the collective knowledge, nothing could come to help, if you, yourself can't truly realize and 'feel' it. This is where the idea of owning something gets so desirable. Something nobody can take away from you, something you can use at your own convenience is central to our way of living.
On this merit, I am well enough convinced to express that, a 'good' book is perhaps only second to one's own personal experience, and only if (the experience) was accurately appreciated for its complete value. Or else, a book would be the first one in queue.
Historically, for most of us, (biological) family is the first place where we begin to discover support from external world and get used to its comforts. For genetic advantage, these supports (all kinds, mental, physical, social, so on) are provided to us with such degree of generosity that, we tend to either loose the idea of ownership, or get started to believe that, we actually do own them. By 'them', I meant those help that we receive and by 'own'ing I mean the feeling that these helps are as if 'supposed' be awarded for some ethical or whatever reason.
I don't know about many others, but from my personal experience, I find it that, the chance of getting out of this illusion is probabilistically not very high. Even in grown up days, we continue to remain dangerously vulnerable to be critically dependent on others (may be society, friends, other entities or anything external that provide us with support) for our psychological and existential fitness. It's not too hard to see why it does not sound very promising for our survival value. For one thing, it depends heavily on something that is after all, not guaranteed by any sorts of rational consequences. Nevertheless, this is a very strong trait, perhaps a genetic one; possibly intensified more among some cultures than other, but threatening enough to be taken seriously for all practical reasons for goodness.
The solution to this is obviously beyond the capacity of one prolonged thinking, but it seems very intuitive to claim that, the first step would be to appreciate its existence. Far too many problems exist for too long, not just because they are impossible to be solved (although they as well might be), but because of the failure on the victim's part to actually recognize it. (In programming we have a buzz for it, "debugging", (the word "de-'bug'ging" has an interesting piece of real story attached it, yes Google it out :))). So let not this illusion of absence keeps us away from the real illusion (!). That would indeed mean a dead end for any kind of progress.
For this very step towards "conscience-growing" (borrowed from Dawkin, whose name I think is kinda funny as it always passes into my ears as two separate words Darwin, and Hawking) about the problem can indeed be very hard as well. And the best refueling station I could see for this kind of weaknesses (this weakness is something that most of us have), could be found, if searched with honest patience, in books. They are the best speakers of all times. A book can talk to you in your most convenient time and disposition at your utmost pleasing place, with the most suitable speed and volume, no matter who you are and what you do. Books are best companions at your good times and only more so in worst times. They can 'give' you something, an opportunity to 'buy' bits and pieces of invaluable consciences itself, to make it your own forever, firmed and fixed, without the fear of being stolen or snatched away, should difficult time comes. They offer you the greatest gifts of all, the building blocks of your imagination, the very you think, believe, realize, love and feel. They literally build your mind with 'bricks' for which the ownership is conferred to you completely in good faith. I could hardly think of anything better, and selfless, and true, and timeless. I gradually and deterministically fall for them, with all my hearts and conscience, part of which is gift; as my mind follows but an inescapable route to the marriage of our majestic companionship.
On this merit, I am well enough convinced to express that, a 'good' book is perhaps only second to one's own personal experience, and only if (the experience) was accurately appreciated for its complete value. Or else, a book would be the first one in queue.
Historically, for most of us, (biological) family is the first place where we begin to discover support from external world and get used to its comforts. For genetic advantage, these supports (all kinds, mental, physical, social, so on) are provided to us with such degree of generosity that, we tend to either loose the idea of ownership, or get started to believe that, we actually do own them. By 'them', I meant those help that we receive and by 'own'ing I mean the feeling that these helps are as if 'supposed' be awarded for some ethical or whatever reason.
I don't know about many others, but from my personal experience, I find it that, the chance of getting out of this illusion is probabilistically not very high. Even in grown up days, we continue to remain dangerously vulnerable to be critically dependent on others (may be society, friends, other entities or anything external that provide us with support) for our psychological and existential fitness. It's not too hard to see why it does not sound very promising for our survival value. For one thing, it depends heavily on something that is after all, not guaranteed by any sorts of rational consequences. Nevertheless, this is a very strong trait, perhaps a genetic one; possibly intensified more among some cultures than other, but threatening enough to be taken seriously for all practical reasons for goodness.
The solution to this is obviously beyond the capacity of one prolonged thinking, but it seems very intuitive to claim that, the first step would be to appreciate its existence. Far too many problems exist for too long, not just because they are impossible to be solved (although they as well might be), but because of the failure on the victim's part to actually recognize it. (In programming we have a buzz for it, "debugging", (the word "de-'bug'ging" has an interesting piece of real story attached it, yes Google it out :))). So let not this illusion of absence keeps us away from the real illusion (!). That would indeed mean a dead end for any kind of progress.
For this very step towards "conscience-growing" (borrowed from Dawkin, whose name I think is kinda funny as it always passes into my ears as two separate words Darwin, and Hawking) about the problem can indeed be very hard as well. And the best refueling station I could see for this kind of weaknesses (this weakness is something that most of us have), could be found, if searched with honest patience, in books. They are the best speakers of all times. A book can talk to you in your most convenient time and disposition at your utmost pleasing place, with the most suitable speed and volume, no matter who you are and what you do. Books are best companions at your good times and only more so in worst times. They can 'give' you something, an opportunity to 'buy' bits and pieces of invaluable consciences itself, to make it your own forever, firmed and fixed, without the fear of being stolen or snatched away, should difficult time comes. They offer you the greatest gifts of all, the building blocks of your imagination, the very you think, believe, realize, love and feel. They literally build your mind with 'bricks' for which the ownership is conferred to you completely in good faith. I could hardly think of anything better, and selfless, and true, and timeless. I gradually and deterministically fall for them, with all my hearts and conscience, part of which is gift; as my mind follows but an inescapable route to the marriage of our majestic companionship.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
The Reducible Mind
Is there always a set of simple reasons for what and how we feel?
All complex things are nothing but careful arrangement of simpler things. So is our mind. We think complex, but the elements of it, originates from much simpler effects. If we could isolate our complete feeling for one particular concept, we could see a tractable chain of causality flowing neatly from one end to the other. But they overlap in a tremendously complex fashion, making it humanly impossible to have any clue where a particular thought is orginating from.
In practical world, reflection necessiates an external object. But in worlds of mind, things are a bit bizarre. A mind knows it is there, without having to require a mirror for it. Probably this very quality of self awareness is central to life. Self-awareness creates an isolation from the enviromnent, giving itself an identity separable from the surrounding. It brings the concepts of goal and objectives, feeling of individuality along with it. Thats one of the reasons, the more one thinks, the more ways one finds, in which, one is different from all the other, and the more 'individual' one becomes.
All complex things are nothing but careful arrangement of simpler things. So is our mind. We think complex, but the elements of it, originates from much simpler effects. If we could isolate our complete feeling for one particular concept, we could see a tractable chain of causality flowing neatly from one end to the other. But they overlap in a tremendously complex fashion, making it humanly impossible to have any clue where a particular thought is orginating from.
In practical world, reflection necessiates an external object. But in worlds of mind, things are a bit bizarre. A mind knows it is there, without having to require a mirror for it. Probably this very quality of self awareness is central to life. Self-awareness creates an isolation from the enviromnent, giving itself an identity separable from the surrounding. It brings the concepts of goal and objectives, feeling of individuality along with it. Thats one of the reasons, the more one thinks, the more ways one finds, in which, one is different from all the other, and the more 'individual' one becomes.
Quotable Quotes
The trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed. - CS Lewis
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
You've Got Mail!
Dear Blog,
I think I should thank you for being so loyal to me. When I am tired or excited, sad or happy, rational or not, you've always been with me. No matter with what color I paint, you've always listened to my writing, with diligence and affection. I know you can not talk, but isn't that the reason why you are such a good listener? I think I found a lot of meaning by talking to myself, and who else did a better service than you, as you preserve every single key that I stroke from the beginning? You never forgot me, or my thoughts, even if I did, you keep them with such care and beauty. You are as wonderful as is my love for you. People may not recognize you as a talking, living, breating companion, but what does that matter? I talk with you, think with you, live with you, my life. I crossed more distance with you in few years, that I hav not with most of my human friends in many years, perhaps I never will. Are we not just two chapters of the same book, one writing the other?
Your friend,
"The blogger"
I think I should thank you for being so loyal to me. When I am tired or excited, sad or happy, rational or not, you've always been with me. No matter with what color I paint, you've always listened to my writing, with diligence and affection. I know you can not talk, but isn't that the reason why you are such a good listener? I think I found a lot of meaning by talking to myself, and who else did a better service than you, as you preserve every single key that I stroke from the beginning? You never forgot me, or my thoughts, even if I did, you keep them with such care and beauty. You are as wonderful as is my love for you. People may not recognize you as a talking, living, breating companion, but what does that matter? I talk with you, think with you, live with you, my life. I crossed more distance with you in few years, that I hav not with most of my human friends in many years, perhaps I never will. Are we not just two chapters of the same book, one writing the other?
Your friend,
"The blogger"
Hahaha
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside. - Robert X. Cringely
Favorite lines from "How green was my Valley"
"Prayer is only the other name of good, clean and direct thinking"
"When I was a young man, I thought, I would conquer the world, with truth"
There is, one good movie. (as it is said). It has been written once, played and seen already, nothing would ever change on it. But I have a deep understanding that as time goes, I will never be quite done with how much more I could find in it, that I would savor and cherish for life.
"When I was a young man, I thought, I would conquer the world, with truth"
There is, one good movie. (as it is said). It has been written once, played and seen already, nothing would ever change on it. But I have a deep understanding that as time goes, I will never be quite done with how much more I could find in it, that I would savor and cherish for life.
What worh is life?
I thought, and thought, and thought, and thought - what is it that I have, makes me feel so blindingly assured that I, not to exist one day would be an unfair affair? ..and the only answer that could ever come close, if any; is the way, love has touched us - and we, embraced her back.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Little did he know
I am afraid, if and when, at the peak of knowledge, man would learn enough to justify that, they bothered all the way through, just to get to the state of knowing that he does not know, from the state that he didn't know.
How Green was my Valley
Oh, such is the power of love...will compete against all the odds and dare to question nature to reverse her course, such is the passsion of it..intolerable, inexhaustible.
@ Men's Club
It is indeed a resting place for a rational mind. Things will never come as one wants, and will never be there as long as one wants, they come and go without any warning or anybody's please. No matter how good or great, or small or big, how insignifcant or how magnificent, it's all running into the same old past, where they will reside forever and yet never. Absurd as it sounds, is not without the truth.
..This is a place to realize not how tall one stands compared to one's surroundings, but to appreciate and acknowledge with complacency the incredible meaning of meaninglessness; to understand how elegent are things made not from intelligent design but by evolution, a lackluster, infinte progress of intermediates, towards its own infinity.
Nature (or whatever you call it) talks though her endless silence. We just have to get down to her, to hear her majesty. What she has to offer must be enjoyed without the greed for persistency or permanency, for, what is a gift is a gift, no matter how transient it is. We have to learn to understand nothing belongs to us, they never did and never will; that we could taste that once already demands a life time of gratitude (for which we live), and asking for that again or demanding it forever is as blatant as a parasite's glory.
..This is a place to realize not how tall one stands compared to one's surroundings, but to appreciate and acknowledge with complacency the incredible meaning of meaninglessness; to understand how elegent are things made not from intelligent design but by evolution, a lackluster, infinte progress of intermediates, towards its own infinity.
Nature (or whatever you call it) talks though her endless silence. We just have to get down to her, to hear her majesty. What she has to offer must be enjoyed without the greed for persistency or permanency, for, what is a gift is a gift, no matter how transient it is. We have to learn to understand nothing belongs to us, they never did and never will; that we could taste that once already demands a life time of gratitude (for which we live), and asking for that again or demanding it forever is as blatant as a parasite's glory.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Red Top Mountain
Succeessful day. Did pretty much everything I planned for. Shopping, cooking, cleaning and after all these, time for a get away to a place I could really enjoy.
Optimizing cooking time has been a problem for over a year (it was problem during student life too, but solution was much difficult that time), so last week I said, this is it. Cooking everyday or in an unplanned fashion is a waste of time, energy, let alone the quality of the food. So I will spend few hours in the weekend to save the after office hours of the weekdays.
So today's destination was Red Top mountain, much closer (less than 60 miles) than RockCity and probably more like a place I have been looking for. There is a wonderful lake, with a beautiful beach. Trees, waves, open space, wilderness and a quick route to the facility, all make it my long sought destination for frequent visit. Unlike probably many others, my objective is not just to enjoy the place, rather to help me enjoy what I want to do.
Reading this book "The God Delusion", have really been a joy from the beginning. The name of the book has strong words and is easily offensive for most people (from religious to semi-religious), but I didn't think that matters. What I found inside is well worth the time reading it.
Optimizing cooking time has been a problem for over a year (it was problem during student life too, but solution was much difficult that time), so last week I said, this is it. Cooking everyday or in an unplanned fashion is a waste of time, energy, let alone the quality of the food. So I will spend few hours in the weekend to save the after office hours of the weekdays.
So today's destination was Red Top mountain, much closer (less than 60 miles) than RockCity and probably more like a place I have been looking for. There is a wonderful lake, with a beautiful beach. Trees, waves, open space, wilderness and a quick route to the facility, all make it my long sought destination for frequent visit. Unlike probably many others, my objective is not just to enjoy the place, rather to help me enjoy what I want to do.
Reading this book "The God Delusion", have really been a joy from the beginning. The name of the book has strong words and is easily offensive for most people (from religious to semi-religious), but I didn't think that matters. What I found inside is well worth the time reading it.
Many a New days have gone
After many years, I have skipped dinner yesterday, due to sleepiness. I vividly remember those childhood days, when I used to fall asleep without supper and mom used to struggle to wake me up and make something reach my stomach. Those days are gone, but memories are not. Looking back, it seems only day before yesterday, but a lot of things have changed in the mean time.
And those morning shifts in the parimary, reminds of happy beginnings. Like other kids, I also had my share of nervousness, but my excitement was equally enough to keep things interesting. Followed by the assembly, the class used to start on about 7:30-8 am. Talking to peers was literally a crime and doing anything else other than swalloing the lectures were literally a felony. We were all kids in physical and in mental (well I hope/wish the instructor were not) terms. Our world was just a little bigger than those classrooms, where we used to live about 70-80% of our up-times. What was discipline and what was psychotic was way outside our knowledge and was unfortunately outside that of most teachers, too. (....)
And those morning shifts in the parimary, reminds of happy beginnings. Like other kids, I also had my share of nervousness, but my excitement was equally enough to keep things interesting. Followed by the assembly, the class used to start on about 7:30-8 am. Talking to peers was literally a crime and doing anything else other than swalloing the lectures were literally a felony. We were all kids in physical and in mental (well I hope/wish the instructor were not) terms. Our world was just a little bigger than those classrooms, where we used to live about 70-80% of our up-times. What was discipline and what was psychotic was way outside our knowledge and was unfortunately outside that of most teachers, too. (....)
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Trip to RockCity
I think we had a useful conversation today. May not be the perfect timing...May be I didn't need to drive 300 miles just to talk to somebody over phone (!), but still, it sure helped creating the mindset for that. What else could be more important than that? I wanted to talk to myself, I think I still did, only in the presence of an wirelsss entity.
I do realize success is not an one dimensional vector, nor is always easily quantifiable, but part of it is, right? All our understanding eventually boils down to numbers (this is a very interesting discussion I have recently revived, I should definitely write more on this, but on a separate sitting), so success also is most often appreciated in qualititve terms.
I have this stressful realization that, I have become less and less successful over the last 8-10 years. Now looking at my age, that's a big portion of my life! Whooh. I don't know what to say. Definitely it's nothing about my luck, I had all the opportunities. I did try too. But they must have been flawed and incomplete. Was there lack of persistence or sincerety, or something bigger? I may be less confined to a fixed set of rules, but I always appreicated and advocated regularity and strictness. I want freedom as the very first thing, but I also appreciate the cost to maintain that. So what is it that I have been missing so badly? Is it something I am really unaware of?
One aspect of failure analysis I always fail to find in contemporary views, is, the failure should be judged based on the amount of information present at the time of that failure, rather than the amount of information present at the time of judging it. Today, even I may very easily humiliate Aristotle for his audacious attempts to say anything about cosmology based on the argument that, they had little access to talk about something so big. But that would be unjust. At that time, the didn't even know how much they didn't know (but which is knowable)! (This is always the case, however).
(to be continued, I feel sleepy..)
I do realize success is not an one dimensional vector, nor is always easily quantifiable, but part of it is, right? All our understanding eventually boils down to numbers (this is a very interesting discussion I have recently revived, I should definitely write more on this, but on a separate sitting), so success also is most often appreciated in qualititve terms.
I have this stressful realization that, I have become less and less successful over the last 8-10 years. Now looking at my age, that's a big portion of my life! Whooh. I don't know what to say. Definitely it's nothing about my luck, I had all the opportunities. I did try too. But they must have been flawed and incomplete. Was there lack of persistence or sincerety, or something bigger? I may be less confined to a fixed set of rules, but I always appreicated and advocated regularity and strictness. I want freedom as the very first thing, but I also appreciate the cost to maintain that. So what is it that I have been missing so badly? Is it something I am really unaware of?
One aspect of failure analysis I always fail to find in contemporary views, is, the failure should be judged based on the amount of information present at the time of that failure, rather than the amount of information present at the time of judging it. Today, even I may very easily humiliate Aristotle for his audacious attempts to say anything about cosmology based on the argument that, they had little access to talk about something so big. But that would be unjust. At that time, the didn't even know how much they didn't know (but which is knowable)! (This is always the case, however).
(to be continued, I feel sleepy..)
Quotable Quotes
When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion. - Abraham Lincoln
No one has ever had an idea in a dress suit. - Sir Frederick G. Banting
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx
No one has ever had an idea in a dress suit. - Sir Frederick G. Banting
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx
Friday, March 07, 2008
Quotable Quotes
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night." - Charles M. Schulz
I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it. - Pablo Picasso
I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it. - Pablo Picasso
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Pool & Pi
Going to the "Pool room" is a fun, specially in the mid-day repast, away from office. My history of pool is shorter than that of dinosaurs and a bit more recent than latest spring. But I guess picked it up well ;).
Pool is a game of balls, which are speherical for historical (probably date backs to the origin of time, time itself being spherical) reasons. And anyone can tell you, a sphere is a thing of fun and wonders. Things happen with them and by them, that nothing else can match quite the same. So much for their shape. Lets talk some real pool. Or should I? I think, the charm of our pool probably resides somehwere outside the pool table. The way we think are very similar, so this table gives us nothing other than one more ground to mix and melt those on a newer canvas. So after some rounds, questions started to pop out. If the projectile of a ball ( lets take the que ball for simplicity ) is not a perfect loop, will it necessarily have to fall in one of the pockets given infinte time? Intuition is misleading as always. Least we forget to get back to work ( which gives us money to play pool, which we can't play enough because we have to work to do that...dizzy? ok), we both seemed to concentrate on winning the table.
But as expected, this was perfect candidate for the afternoon brain-raining ( not quite storming you know). We realized after some initial restlessness, that we were dealing with some deep water fish here. There exist questions like "what is the maximum length of a acyclic string constructed from finite number of symbols"? And for practical example of it, we didn't have to think that far really, our good old (ms.) Pi knocked in. (For some reason, I find the sex of pi as female, let me know if you feel otherwise ;) ). To answer our previous question would be in the same complexity class where the question "is pi represenstation a recurring sequence?". I am still to google it out, but definitely the proof would be much harder than the answer.
Pool is a game of balls, which are speherical for historical (probably date backs to the origin of time, time itself being spherical) reasons. And anyone can tell you, a sphere is a thing of fun and wonders. Things happen with them and by them, that nothing else can match quite the same. So much for their shape. Lets talk some real pool. Or should I? I think, the charm of our pool probably resides somehwere outside the pool table. The way we think are very similar, so this table gives us nothing other than one more ground to mix and melt those on a newer canvas. So after some rounds, questions started to pop out. If the projectile of a ball ( lets take the que ball for simplicity ) is not a perfect loop, will it necessarily have to fall in one of the pockets given infinte time? Intuition is misleading as always. Least we forget to get back to work ( which gives us money to play pool, which we can't play enough because we have to work to do that...dizzy? ok), we both seemed to concentrate on winning the table.
But as expected, this was perfect candidate for the afternoon brain-raining ( not quite storming you know). We realized after some initial restlessness, that we were dealing with some deep water fish here. There exist questions like "what is the maximum length of a acyclic string constructed from finite number of symbols"? And for practical example of it, we didn't have to think that far really, our good old (ms.) Pi knocked in. (For some reason, I find the sex of pi as female, let me know if you feel otherwise ;) ). To answer our previous question would be in the same complexity class where the question "is pi represenstation a recurring sequence?". I am still to google it out, but definitely the proof would be much harder than the answer.
Recurring
That moment of clarity has crossed my conscience once again about same time of the day. This time I was touched a by a different angel of realization. I was filled with surprise and wondered how I could be so distracted to miss that, the very life that I am having hard time to accept is something, I had in mind once, after all. Things could change so dramatically....so dramatically..that there exist no point of rerefence at all, between now and the past.
I dreamed of a life, free of any kinds of external attraction and connections, didn't I?
I dreamed of a life, free of any kinds of external attraction and connections, didn't I?
Hahahhahhaha
Gosh! this is funny...hahahahahaha
Hey There Khalilah :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMqTKA8BxvE
In case you don't have the background:
Hey There Delilah:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbJtYqBYCV8
hahahahahahhahahahhaa....
Hey There Khalilah :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMqTKA8BxvE
In case you don't have the background:
Hey There Delilah:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbJtYqBYCV8
hahahahahahhahahahhaa....
Quotable Quotes
The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was noone on the other line. Once she said "God Bless you" I said, "I didn't sneeze" She looked deep into my eyes and said, "You will, eventually." And damn it if she wasn't right. Two days later I sneezed. - Ellen DeGeneres
The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'. - Larry Hardiman
The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'. - Larry Hardiman
When a lizard can, why can't we?
"This is a true story that happened in Japan. In order to renovate the house, someone in Japan breaks open the wall. Japanese houses normally have a hollow space between the wooden walls. When tearing down the walls, he found that there was a lizard stuck there because a nail from outside hammered into one of its feet. He sees this, and feels pity, and at the same time curious, as when he checked the nail and it was nailed 10 years ago when the house was first built.
What happened? The lizard has survived in such position for 10 years! In a dark wall partition for 10 years without moving, it is impossible and mind-boggling. Then he wondered how this lizard survived for 10 years! Without moving a single step--since its foot was nailed! So he stopped his work and observed the lizard, what it has been doing, and what and how it has been eating. Later, not knowing from where it came appears another lizard, with food in its mouth. Ah! He was stunned and touched deeply. For the lizard that was stuck by nail, another lizard has been feeding it for the past 10 years...
Imagine? It has been doing that untiringly for 10 long years, without giving up hope on its partner Think, will u do that for your partner? Or at least you're Mom & Dad, Who went through struggle & hardship to raise and educate you & invested the best years of their lives raising you?
Imagine what a small creature can do, and a creature blessed with a brilliant mind can't. "
What happened? The lizard has survived in such position for 10 years! In a dark wall partition for 10 years without moving, it is impossible and mind-boggling. Then he wondered how this lizard survived for 10 years! Without moving a single step--since its foot was nailed! So he stopped his work and observed the lizard, what it has been doing, and what and how it has been eating. Later, not knowing from where it came appears another lizard, with food in its mouth. Ah! He was stunned and touched deeply. For the lizard that was stuck by nail, another lizard has been feeding it for the past 10 years...
Imagine? It has been doing that untiringly for 10 long years, without giving up hope on its partner Think, will u do that for your partner? Or at least you're Mom & Dad, Who went through struggle & hardship to raise and educate you & invested the best years of their lives raising you?
Imagine what a small creature can do, and a creature blessed with a brilliant mind can't. "
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Economics
TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS
You have two cows.You sell one and buy a bull.Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.You retire on the income.
INDIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.You worship them.
AMERICAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.You put the blame on some nation with cows and naturally that nationwill be a danger to mankind.You wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.
FRENCH ECONOMICS
You have two cowsYou go on strike because you want three cows.
GERMAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a monthand milk themselves.
BRITISH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.They are both mad cows.
JAPANESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinarycow, and produce twenty times the milk.You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon! And market themworldwide.
CHINESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.You have 300 people milking them.You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyonereporting the actual numbers.
PAKISTAN ECONOMICS
You don't have any cows.You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, British fortechnology, French for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia fordrugs and Japan for equipment.You buy the cows with all this and claim exploitation by the world.
BANGLADESH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.You don't know economy.You choose one of them as the Prime Minister of the country and theother the Leader of the Opposition.
I am in!
Signed up for the 'club'. Initial 'cost' was about '$100', but I am sure more is coming. Once I thought it would take me a long time to decide whether I would enter or not. But for now, it seems the correct thing to do. Knowing I have nothing to achieve "in particular" is probably a safer bet than not knowing it. So I made this decision. Life is not any easier than before, but it's just less painful, I guess.
Monday, March 03, 2008
Interesting Day
I bought my first car exactly 1 year from this day. It was a different kind of feeling, a feeling of freedom and excitement. Interesting enough is, my journey for a different (but of the same degree) kind of freedom starts this very day, as well.
Good old Bad days
How about I stop being 'good'? You know what I mean? I mean all these things we do and do not do, for the sole purpose of upholding our damn moral, could itself be the root of all evil. How about I cut that crap loose?
I don't have to be necessarily honest with anything.
I don't have to be kind.
I don't have to be responsible.
I don't have to be polite.
I don't have to be understanding.
I don't have to be truthful all the time.
I can lie as I wish.
I can think anything, say anything, do anything, to anyone, anytime, anywhere.
I don't have to believe in an eternal justice
I don't have to feel bad for doing anything.
I don't have to be afraid of anything.
I don't have to care anything.
I don't have to have guilty feelings for anything, nothing is guilt.
I don't have to sacrifice for anyone, anything.
I free myself, from the slavery by my own conceptions, most of which must have been horribly wrong, for they lead me to nowhere but a place filled with shame, suffering and meaninglessness.
I don't have to be necessarily honest with anything.
I don't have to be kind.
I don't have to be responsible.
I don't have to be polite.
I don't have to be understanding.
I don't have to be truthful all the time.
I can lie as I wish.
I can think anything, say anything, do anything, to anyone, anytime, anywhere.
I don't have to believe in an eternal justice
I don't have to feel bad for doing anything.
I don't have to be afraid of anything.
I don't have to care anything.
I don't have to have guilty feelings for anything, nothing is guilt.
I don't have to sacrifice for anyone, anything.
I free myself, from the slavery by my own conceptions, most of which must have been horribly wrong, for they lead me to nowhere but a place filled with shame, suffering and meaninglessness.
Outer the limits
Crying isn't helping any more. Talking, reading or just getting busy with life, none of these are effective either. I simply don't know what else to try. I don't see any opening at the end of this road, it's all too dark. How could I ever get out of this? Have I done something irreversible?
So is this it? Perhaps, my fate has already been written, and trying would be pointless, except to the effect of making conditions more miserable.
But I read somewhere, if I honestly try you are supposed to show me the light, is that a delusion too? Well, I can't get any more honest than this, so if you still do not want to show up, I guess this is it. I am at the dead end here. Anything after this point is not within my rational limits, so I can't take responsibility of this, I can't.
So is this it? Perhaps, my fate has already been written, and trying would be pointless, except to the effect of making conditions more miserable.
But I read somewhere, if I honestly try you are supposed to show me the light, is that a delusion too? Well, I can't get any more honest than this, so if you still do not want to show up, I guess this is it. I am at the dead end here. Anything after this point is not within my rational limits, so I can't take responsibility of this, I can't.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Quotable Quotes
The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one's real and one's declared aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink. - George Orwell
Most people would rather be certain they're miserable than risk being happy. - Robert Anthony
Most people would rather be certain they're miserable than risk being happy. - Robert Anthony
Possible and the 'Impossibles'
Reality is the resultant wave of all the individual possibility wave functions. Impossible things are impossible, or they don't happen because, their wave functions are nullified. In some sense, they also do 'exist' - or lets put it this way, they exist in a place before the 'existence' of reality is defined; i.e, they sort of 'pre-exist' everything.
The answer to the general problem of explaining a particular choice is thus the rejection of the completeness of the question. No choice is 'preferred' over other, as all choices are made, there is no selection. We can see particular choices being taking place not because they are the only ones that are made, but because they are 'also' made, which happens to be in our world.
The answer to the general problem of explaining a particular choice is thus the rejection of the completeness of the question. No choice is 'preferred' over other, as all choices are made, there is no selection. We can see particular choices being taking place not because they are the only ones that are made, but because they are 'also' made, which happens to be in our world.
Cycles
The only reason I've ever found, to hope nature's actions as fair, is her cyclicity.
The justification of our death is nothing but our birth, the justification of end being the beginning. Everything has a balance, it's only a matter of time when it will finish one full cycle.
The justification of our death is nothing but our birth, the justification of end being the beginning. Everything has a balance, it's only a matter of time when it will finish one full cycle.
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